Archive for the 'Rants' Category
11-19-2008
Minority Ghettos
So, ever since election night this year, I’ve been in a tizzy. The whole evening left me with very mixed feelings. I mean, yes, Obama won, and that’s great (Friends don’t let friends vote Republican). Yet on the same night Prop 8 passed. I think this is the first time in American history that people voted to actually strip another group of people of their rights.
What makes the whole thing even more depressing is that evidently an overwhelming portion of the African-American community voted in favor of Prop 8.
I remember back when I lived in New York arguing with a friend over whether black people could be racist. She said no, I said yes. Her reasoning was that racism implied having the power to oppress.
Well, evidently the African-American community has reached that plateau this year with a vengence.
That’s not to let white people off the hook, who were very narrowly against Prop 8.
However, there’s something especially sad about seeing another minority, one that has experienced awful prejudice and oppression, voting to oppress another.
I don’t think I said should be surprised though. Human history is replete with examples of this. The Irish in 19th century America were horribly disenfranchised. Signs posted all over the country said, “No Irish allowed.” Yet the Irish were very vocal about not freeing the slaves.
Gay people don’t get a pass either. I’ve heard and seen gay people define themselves with a separateness from other minorities. For instance, the whole thing about MichFest and trans people has been a source of surprise and sadness.
It’s almost as if even as an oppressed group, there is something innate in people that makes them say, “Well, at least we’re not like them.”
I have to wonder, what happens when there are no minorities to oppress. People do like to draw a line in the sand: extend rights here, but no farther. Still, if there’s one thing that history teaches, it’s that fighting against extending rights is a losing battle.
Maybe by the time gay people achieve equality, humans as a whole will find aliens that they can then discriminate against.
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »
11-11-2008
Destruction
Over the last few months, I’ve been taking OEC, Outdoor Emergency Care, as part of my training to become a ski patroller. A few weeks ago, we discussed gunshot wounds and care in class. The instructor talked about the different types of bullets, and told us about one bullet that is designed so that it essentially shatters as it penetrates the skin, ensuring a large amount of shrapnel that will do the most damage. While listening, I could only think, ‘What does it say about us a species that we would actually spend time and effort designing something like that?’
Why do we seek to destroy life so much?
I just don’t understand our human obsession with guns and things that go boom. I have actually fired a gun, and found it terrifying. No thanks. Someone explain this to me, although frankly if it is explained I think I will still never understand.
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »
08-24-2008
Blah blah blah
As I approach my 40th birthday, I’ve been reflecting on the past year a lot. I have to say that my life has been something of a shitstorm, starting with the departure of one of my best friends for Texas last summer.
I sometimes feel like I’m on a treadmill, running as fast as I can to keep things positive. Every step forward is met with one back. While talking with someone earlier today, my analogy was with a merry-go-round, spinning quickly while the horses go up and down - peaks and valleys.
Part of my struggles relate to friendship. Several other friends have moved on, and while we are still friends the nature of the friendship obviously changes with distance.
40 does seem to be a traumatic age for women in particular. My favorite scene in “Knocked Up,” a movie I liked almost in spite of its somewhat sexist approach, was where Debbie was talking about how she and her husband aged differently and ruminating on how age affects women.
I can’t say I’m completely excited about turning 40. I mean, it’s the halfway point of life in many ways.
Even so, things look up in some ways. Guess I’ll go get back on that treadmill again.
Posted by Candace in Rants | 1 Comment »
05-26-2008
Cleaning Up
So, today was part cleanup day. I played a tournament this weekend and really played horribly, which was super depressing. After the last match, I drove over to the old house and helped clean it up a little bit more. I don’t know why we bothered.
It was very sad to be over there, where once we dreamed many dreams, but now said dreams have vanished. The house will be taken by the bank. I love my new apartment, but still, I lived in that house for 10 years, almost as long as I lived in New Rochelle. It saddens me that it is over, even though I know it is for the better.
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »
11-25-2007
Friendships
Friends seem to be either the salvation of my existence or the bane of it, sometimes at the same time. They can be as complicated as relationships, and as joyous and as hurtful. But where would we be without them?
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »
10-02-2007
A sign for our times
Last night, while driving home, I saw something that seemed to perfectly sum up some of our current issues; a person driving their car at night, headlights off, while chatting on his cell phone. Jeez, pay attention to the road for crying out loud!
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »
06-14-2007
Summer Nights
For someone like me whose favorite season is winter, summer can be a mixed blessing. But I’ve realized lately that I have some of my favorite memories from summer, like following the Grateful Dead up and down the east coast, having a picnic at Jones Beach as a storm moved in over the amphitheater, creating a full-arc rainbow to watch as we drove in to see Jimmy Buffet, disastrously amusing trips to the Tetons, hours upon hours spent on the tennis court, and of course, many nights spent coping with the horrifically oppressive humidity in New York City.
As bad as Manhattan got though, I sometimes miss it in the summer. While working at NYPRIG, some of us played Whiffle Ball in the pavilion in front of the now-fallen Twin Towers, whiling away late evening hours with Tall Boys and friends, all while stock brokers walked by in smiling bewilderment. Or hanging out at a late night cafe, eating torte and sipping wine on the sidewalk. Taking the train home late at night at stopping at a Korean deli for some hot food when the munchies struck. New York is unlike any place else I’ve been to, certainly anywhere else in this country, and the summer seems to bring those differences to the fore far more than winter.
I miss my friends in New York, and I miss the times we had together that seem ever more distant with each year we get older. We still talk a few times a year, trade e-mails, have a late night conversation every month or so, but it’s harder. The funny thing is though, that as we’d aged in the city, we seemed to grow more distant too, far more so than when many of us lived together and we only worried about making the rent each month and where we’d go drinking at night. It was wild and fun, and those memories remain some of the most intense.
So, for all my friends back in the great city, I’m thinking of you. :)!
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »
02-26-2007
Retail is hell
I’m currently serving my third stint in retail. And, as in my previous stints in retail, which have each lasted for about three years, I’m in management. I don’t know why I’ve been compelled to seek management positions. In my previous two retail positions, from 93-97 and 2002-2006, I was hired first for sales then pursued management. In my latest one, after working as an editor for magazine that folded, I was hired as a manager. And, with about seven years in retail, I can safely say that in retail, you end up dealing with the worst in people. Which makes me conclude that I’m a glutton for punishment, a completely depressing observation about myself.
So, what do I mean about dealing with the worst in people? Well, except for rare exceptions, as a manager, people usually don’t want to talk to you unless they’re upset about something. And in our somewhat hyper-me-centered society, many people seem to have difficulty putting themselves in another’s place, especially when it comes to finding out they can’t get what they want.
Rudeness has, apparently, become endemic in our society, and I fully cop to my own episodes of rudeness in dealing with clerks. Ever see the movie “Clerks”? I think Randal spoke for every retail worker in America when he said, “This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers. You gotta loosen up, my friend. You’d feel a hell of a lot better if you’d rip into the occasional customer.” This is followed by Randal asking Dante if there aren’t customers that annoy him on a daily basis.
Of course, you can’t really rip the occasional customer, tempting as it may be. But some of the things that customers try or say just leave you scratching your head in bewilderment at the audacity of their wants. I’ve had customers want to return things that are a year or more old. Granted, they may not have been opened, but at a certain point, you own it. And then there are the items that should never be allowed to be returned, like, say, books.
And that’s not to mention the variation on the “Clerks” milk maid customer, the price shopper. You know the one; the customer who spends 15 days pouring over different ads looking for a lower price to force you to match, then spends hours driving back and forth between different stores trying to get the best bargain, all the while spending more damn gas on the search than the money they are saving. Really, if you actually want the item in question, just pay the fraking money! Everyone will be a lot happier.
The big problem is that people just haven’t learned the value of anything. And the internet has really changed the retail landscape, and not for the better. People will come down to a brick and mortar store, take up hours of a salesperson’s time learning all the ins and outs of the item they are interested in, then buy it online from Bob’s Discount Barn for $200 less than you can possibly sell it, and THEN have the audacity to come back to your store to have you deal with the problems or learning curve, since the person they bought it from can’t be bothered, and doesn’t really have to. Isn’t it worth a little extra to actually buy from someone local who can actually help you learn about the product in question? Unfortunately, the answer often seems to be no.
And even despite all that, retail is almost worth it, because every now and then you get a customer who is a pleasure to work with, someone who listens to you instead of lectures you, someone whom you can establish a dialogue with and truly help find the best product for their needs. They are truly grateful for the help you provide.
But for every one of those, there are one or two who are demanding to the point of cruelty. They will sometimes even curse you out. There are the ones who don’t care that what they want is not possible, or even reasonable; they only care about making someone else’s life a living hell. I’ll refrain from the observation about what type of person delights in inflicting misery on others.
So, I’ll conclude this post with a plea for my fellow retail workers. The next time you go out shopping, try to put aside your own anger, your own life, and think about the person standing in front of you trying to help you as a PERSON. Most of the people in customer service actually do want to help; you might be surprised at what a little restraint and politeness will accomplish.
Posted by Candace in Rants | No Comments »